How Did We End Up Here?!

It's four in the morning, and mom has been resting quietly for just over an hour. Boy, have things changed in the last little while.

In May, Mom was put on a chemotherapy drug called Tarceva. Despite harsh side effects, the cancer was shrinking. But, it wasn't enough, and the fight just got to be too much for Mom.

Last week she took to her bed. We got a hospital bed set up in Cherrie's dining room. Mom's happy there, she can be comfortable and be a part of everything as well.

The last few days, though, we've seen a marked decline in Mom's health. Her kidneys are failing (we've got her on 1 litre of saline fluids everyday, and a catheter because she's so immobile). She slips in and out of consciousness - I'm sure that she's scouting out her other options - and sometimes calls for her mom, who died years ago.

Amazingly enough, her lungs don't sound bad at all. With the help of oxygen, she doesn't cough at all.

She doesn't seem to be in pain or uncomfortable, just a bit scared about her next step.

So, we're all gathering around. I guess this is what a bedside vigil is all about. Laughing one minute, crying the next. Today, Mom managed to say that she loved us all. That's what I'll hold on to, and what I'll share with you.

Life is too short for anything less.